I have a hard time forgiving myself for some of the things I’ve done. Though some of the things that have happened I realize aren’t my fault, but some were. I feel like for a lot of my life I have been naïve and selfish. I know I can’t undo a lot of the stupid stuff I’ve done, all I can do I make it better, which I guess you could say I’ve been trying to do. Though before I didn’t try, or care, enough to make things better. After I left my residential treatment center I though I had gotten myself together, for the most part. But somewhere along the way I fell back into a few bad habits. Now I’m being put in foster care again, this time for a year until I turn 18. It sucks because I think I should have been given one more chance with my mom, though I understand where everyone else is coming from too. I have been given a lot of chances and for the most part screwed them all up. But I really wanted to do good this time and the only reason I had missed school all those days was because I was sick, I even had doctor’s notes to prove it. But yet I still get punished.
I have made a lot of strides yet every time I go to court they always focus on the negative. It’s never “Great job you’re not depressed any more” or “Congrats on being sober 2 and a half years”. Of course not, that would be insanity.