Thursday, October 1, 2009


I wish people would not judge me based on how I portray myself, my physical appearance, or my actions. For example, every time a male comes across, it's like I am psychic towards what they are thinking about me. I can read the male species like a book. And I have the same opinion for all guys in general: they only want one thing, and that is the goods.

When I was living on the streets for some time of my life, random guys would come up to me asking why such a beautiful girl is lying down on a bench in the projects? They I would respond by saying I am going through a lot right now and I really have to where else to go at the moment. At the time I was very vulnerable and desperate, so as long as the guy spit his game the right way I would tag along with him. But what amazed me the most about these men was how two-faced they were. First they are nice, respectful gentlemen who just tell me what I wanna hear like "Oh, well, I can help you out and get you off of these streets. It looks like you need to get somethin to eat and seems to me that you need to bathe and need to lie down for a while because you look very exhausted. If you go with me, I can take care of you." But little did I know that the phrase, "I can take care of you" meant something outside the box. They basically said, "We gon get it on when we hit my spot", but camouflaged what they really meant.

So once they had me in a good position with no one around, after about five minutes, the guy would start touching me in areas that were uncomfortable. I do admit, sometimes I let them caress me, but a lot of the time I really wasn't in the mood to have sex with them because first of all I was in no position to even feel any type of pleasure because of me being homeless, and second of all, the men that I turned down were denied for a reason: too dang old!

The ones that I rejected got angry and I got to experience the real side of them that I have never seen before. The nice, respectful "gentlemen" that I met not to long ago had vanished and now I was facing the cold-hearted,cruel, physical man. but back to my point from the very beginning. I wish people (men in general) would just stop judging me based on my appearance and how I portray myself because when they come across me, they think I am a promiscuous teenager who prostitutes for money. I wish men wouldn't look at me as just a piece of (@#!), but I guess I am just gonna have to deal with it, keep my head up and stay strong because people like that is gonna pass my way everyday.


Georgia Hedrick said...

strong writing but sad content. The 'voice' is very real, very honest and contains a message that every youngster on the street ought to read and take to heart. gh--retired teacher

Cheryl Duckworth said...

Thanks for the comment, Georgia!