A Game of Pain

life is like a game
a game that causes pain
two people taken away from me
in a couple of months
now I wonder who's going
to be next within the next couple
of months
my head is spinning I can't
think straight
it feels like I've been put in
a straight jacket and taken away
I'm out of my dreams wishing I
could go back
now I'm in reality facing my biggest fear
so hostile and vicious
but so silent you wouldn't know it's here
it doesn't discriminate
it doesn't even care if you just turned eight
it's killing faster and faster
its name is cancer

25 Years

I hear gun shot
I see gun shot
flicker on and off
in the middle of
battle I see my
future flicker on
and off in my
future I see myself
in jail behind
the bar 25 years
of pain and sorrow
but there is a chance
to change the outcome
in my future.

Energy

rest
doesn't mean sleep
sleep is just falling
down a steep hill
through a dark tunnel
to another reality
rest
is your mind in a blank
your body has no motion
not even breath
so I hope to never rest
just to sleep
just to fall into my other realities
and let them fall into mine
let all of me, my other me's
rest at the same moment
and grow into
a willow tree

Intelligent Beast

have you ever met an
intelligent beast
well now you have
that's why when I walk
the streets I don't wear a mask
but you know I keep the lama
don't smoke no camels
I'm with vandals that they minds is always
plotting scandals
lions tigers bears we never scared
we got arrows for sparrows
and you right we don't care
ya'll can't relate so ya'll be hatin
I'm patiently waitin for one
soul to make a sound
get em torched like Jason
why we like this they ask
look at our past they wouldn't
give it to us now we
chase after cash
and we get it and the devils hate it
so they want us confined
it's not a curse that we curse
we losing our mind
this is from someone who
would know and I also
have a witness to
keep food on the table
they sold to them switches
welfare doesn't buy shoes
but money does
and the true money
for us on the streets it was
and our true thugs and dead
soldiers we reminisce
about the days way back
when there was such things
as friends over time
our heart become ire so
we don't make amends
we been tortured so much
we torture other men
it seems no one wants to help us
so we rob each other
just because he was only half blood
I seen someone rob his brother
stole from his mother
then split it with his stepfather
so later on he could get on
with his pops step-daughter
this game is so cruel you trust no
man I don't care if the
president said something I wouldn't
trust him this is smart if you
wanna live and later on
eat take these dark words
from an intelligent beast

The Second Time

I'm thinking about a person in my mind
for the second time
while doing a crime
Drinking that Corona and lime.
I'm here in NVJDH
God help, Jesus Grace
Please let me get out of here and let me free
I promise you one thing, I'll stop smoking that tree
Lord please
I'm locked up like a dumb beast
I think the mistakes are unchangble
and now ima start holding myself accountable.

No One Knows

No one knows how it is to walk in my shoes.
No one knows how much pain I go through.
No one knows why I do the things I do.
No one knows why I don’t like you.
Is it because I don’t know you.
Is it because the colors you wear.
Is it because the way you look.
Is it because your race or religion.
Is it because the way you live.
I just don’t like you because that’s the way
I feel about you.

She

She is the woman who gave birth to me.
She was, at the moment, still sixteen.
She resumed school and earned a college degree.
She struggled to be stable financially.

She’s a nurse who worked from here to there;
Leaving my little sister and me to Grandma’s care.
She worked abroad, worked everywhere.
She mailed money to us and thought it was fair.

Washington, DC, was her final destination;
Working for two years and announced a declaration.
She wanted my sister and me to move to another nation.
As naïve as I was, I was expecting perfection.

September 3, 2006, is a significant date.
I had an opportunity for my life to recreate.
Sadly, it turned out to be something I’d hate.
I am appalled that I was misled by my fate.

My mother is whom I blamed for my downfall.
She is whom I hit back and made the 911 call.
I was a prisoner of this wall and that wall.
Tears were shed at night but around her, I refused to bawl.

Three months later, from foster home, I ran away.
I was a homeless person with nowhere to stay.
Each day I asked myself, “Would I make it out alive today?”
“If I won’t, please protect my family, God,” I would pray.

Halloween, Christmas, my birthday, blizzards, Valentine’s.
I was starving while families were out to dine.
I asked God and He gave it to me: a sign.
A couple of hours later, it was time.

She opened the door and tears streamed down her face.
I thought she would slap me but that wasn’t the case.
She was beyond comprehending, I was beyond amazed.
This mother-daughter team is back in the race.

She apologized to me and to her, so did I.
We talked with ease and an emotion I could not recognize.
Like your body is free from tension without exercise.
Like a hideous individual with no need for disguise.

The court system determined I’m to be locked up until November.
I wonder, how drastically would my life change after?
I concluded I’ll survive because there’s support from my mother.
She assured me that in the end, all will be better.

She was my age when she had a baby.
Did she predict how that baby girl would turn out to be?
I’m blessed she didn’t entirely lose hope on me.
You’re irreplaceable. I’m proud to call you, “Mommy.”

Seven Candles

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven
Seven candles burning and smoking;
Lit seven candles flames of doubt, fear,
Sorrow, pian, waste, hopelessness, despair

They turn my insides with black soot and ash,
There is something at the back of my eyes,
A pressure building, building, building

Hot like flames of seven candles, which
No amount of breath can extinguish

One, Two, three, Four, Five, Six, Seven
The fire spreads
The fire run through my veins
Why can’t I just escape these flames of these?
Candles or is it just. PAIN

I am from....

I am from Washington, D.C.
I am from a neighborhood that looks for no beef.
I am from a family that care.
I am from a mother that raised her son from a young boy to an older man.
I am from a family that have respect, peace, value, tolerance, perseverance.
I am from a family that supplies they child whatever he/she needs/wants.
I am from the man that put us on Earth, Jesus Christ.
I am from a school that really wants the scholars to be successful, Cesar Chavez School.
I am from a mother that wants her son to change for the good not just for the bad.
I am from a neighborhood that people don't pull them up but pull them down.
I am from a place that I call home that every one have something to live for or have goals.
I am from a neighborhood that everybody is an enemy or targets.
I am from where everyone robs and steals.
And first and foremost I am a person that has goals in life and am willing to change.
I am from a group of friends that robbed people, steal things and carjack people.

Shouts as Loud as Broken Hearts

I am from shouts
as loud as broken hearts
all the way to nosebleed drips
from fights that I picked cause of poison I sipped
I am only from the Dark
I am from tears from loved ones' souls

I am from Black and Blue
that i can't see with eyes
swollen shut
and please remember I am
only from the Dark

The Darkness don't cloud my eyes
the mist of Day clouds the Darkness
and on April 30 I was never born
but on the 30th Mom's heart was torn
and as I ripped through the dark to the
light
the mature baby cried cause it was too bright
4 pounds 1 ounce
I was a gift from...
from nothing but the reaper
I was dead as soon as I was born
but I'm here or gone
and as I try and find someone to
confide in
it seems my own mind is the only thing I
can find and
your mind is a dangerous place to be locked
in
my body ain't in the real jail
my thoughts is
I ask for the key
no one wants to hear it
and it's not my fault I don't have
the time to have the time
and Mr. Defeat I can't see
you but I feel you in my pocket
get your hands out my pocket
I was born gone
I'm trapped let me out
I'm done

Cell Walls

In NVJDH these walls are tall
in my mind these walls can fall
they can lock my body but can't lock my mind
like a diamond in the dirt, I'm still gonna shine
he thought he hurt me by giving me time
little do they know I'm still gonna rise
apart from being a soldier
includes late night cries
something I do to release this stress
is create these rhymes
I'm only one person
how much could I take
going to court thinking I'm going home
instead I get baked
In NVJDH these walls are tall
in my mind these walls can fall

A City that Never Sleeps

I'm from a city that
never sleeps and where you
hear gunshots and someone
dies and all you hear is
a mother weep

Outside on the
corner where the crackheads b hanging out
shooting up dope and killing thereself slow
drug dealers walk around with bags of white powder
selling it to the crackheads and don't care if they
selling it to an old man

some people wonder why I wear nice-fit
expert clothes and diamonds around my neck and
wrist because where I'm from you that dude
when you dress like this but if you get
caught loafing you'll get shot from standing like
this

People get shot almost all the time but the
news crew don't come around when the hood
loses one of ours all I see is blue and red lights
the police jumping out on my mans because they heard
he had six bags

Where I'm from it's M.O.E money over everything
no more where it's every man for himself
a lot of people who you think your friend turn on you when you
come up and your mans gonna try to stick you up

Tamed Pain

I'm from tamed pain
in the eyes of the beholder
I'm nothing
below all
but to me
I'm above all
I stand
I'm in pain
but never ashamed
I'm from ghetto love
where my love is taken
and not given
So I get higher than the ceiling
Higher than my feelings
I go on a killing spree
I'm from liquor & corner stores
where cluckers walk freely
I'm a thug bug
so stay away
for my hugs are kisses of hell
you can't rebel
I'm from pretty chicks
ten in the face
slim in the waist
with a .22 caliber in your face
I'm from where you kill & steal to get
a meal
where you have to be careful where you walk
cause you'll get [messed] up
I'm from the hood
a hood rat
yeah I'm that
proud & I'll say it loud
cause where I come from is Washington
where I strive to stay alive

Between These Walls

Here I am in this room
surrounded by four walls
and with no way to go home.
I see people leave
this place but weeks later
they're back again. But
day and night I pray to God
to please keep my family
safe and strong.

To Be Great

To be great
but misunderstood
no one knows what going on
everything is too great
but people don't understand
me I'm talking to a brick wall
you don't understand the pain I'm
feeling, but you can see me crying, don't
tell me how I feel, and don't say you understand
because you don't know my pain. You
misunderstand what I just said, you don't know
my pain, I hate that being in jail make
me feel this way, go away, I just want
to fly away. I'm misunderstood but life
is great.

Real Talk

This place beat me
up my head hurts
back hurts my legs
hurt my chest hurts
I'm hurt so when
I get out I will
refresh myself with
all new things new
people new places
brand new person
Real Talk

The Flame

I got to chill out
because I'm like a flame
that doesn't bring a good fame
if I don't chill myself out
law will and they're colder than ice
and when I say I need to chill out
it's another word for change
but not all the way
I'll always be the same
I just need to bring down my flame
and maybe it will bring a good fame

Love

Love is an emotion
When two doves fly
they become one
the doves love
each other and
never leave
they are happy
and fly with joy.

Man and Woman

There's something you have always done to never be seen.
I may not see you on the lines but maybe in between.
There will always be something better than what you have.
So you go out and get it instead of being glad.
Once given a change to stop you think of starting.
Your mind races as your thoughts are darting.
If you are alive then it could always be worse.
But you can come in 2nd or 3rd and still be first.
Your memories lead you down a very dark path.
Then instead of being in the lead you start to become last.
As high as the stars even the moon
or as low as the flowers when they begin to bloom
this is the end also the beginning
so you never lose because you're always winning.
these are emotions of man and woman
but my question is...where do you fit in?

A Rhyme for Anne Frank

This a little something on the Anne Frank's diary,
About the struggles she overcame an how she truly inspired me.
In 1942 Hitler occupied Holland,
An that dude was no joke, some compare him to Stalin.
No one knows why he did what he did an tried to blame the Jews,
Historians have been searching for years for answers but still no clue.
It all started in 42 Anne was just a lil girl,
But little did she know that lil 263 would turn into that lil girl’s world.
She transitioned from a normal little kid with a normal lil family,
To a bird in a coop that’s slowly swarming though insanity.